#pls no hate if you don't like it just ignore it
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remember when i had that dream where you [Y/N] have a sleepover with tumblr sexyman tony and sketchbook where you guys just end up in a polyamorous relationship ??? well . i tried to find a fanfic that would even slightly line up with the description. even if it was only vaguely
but uhhh ....
there were none . so i had to do it myself
#have i ever told you how fucking scared i am of tumblr sexyman tony and paige ?#actually . im not scared of them – but seeing them just makes me go into a fight or flight state#i hate my nine year old self for being obsessed with them . and i think they'd hate current me for being obsessed with digitaltime#so . really . i think we're even#can you tell which one i hate less ? [hint : it's not the blue twink]#anyway . im doing this more for you – the people who follow my account – than i am for myself#i tried to make it believable for the 2014 era of padlock but like i dunno how good or bad of a job i did (~_~;)#i hope they all get obliterated ; blown up to smithereens#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis fanfic#dhmis tony#tony the talking clock#dhmis sketchbook#dhmis paige#paige the sketchbook#dhmis padlock#apparently there are no tony x reader or paige x reader tags on tumblr . so whoops#x reader fanfiction#x reader fic#for the first time in my life . i hope one of my posts / fanfics absolutely flops#my fanfiction#archive of our own#pls ignore#its not finished btw#and i don't know when ill be updating it#shrug
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so i wonder if anyone else has thoughts about mame's choices regarding sky vs tongrak's stories and how she tackled the complexity of loving and being loved.
when i first heard about love sea, i saw a lot of people say that fortpeat were just re-cast as sky and prapai but with tongrak being older and richer than mahasamut. personally, i think that's a pretty reductionist view because mame explored the idea of being afraid to love and be loved from very different angles and perspective in these two stories.
i will give that there are some similarities on the surface - peat's character does that whole 'pretends to hate it but secretly loves it' thing; the cat-like 'push and pull' thing and fort's character is still a overly excited, loveable golden retriever of a human being with a strong sense of self; also both sky and tongrak have had experiences which make them both fearful of 'love'.
but i think while sky's main fear is being loved, tongrak's is very much a fear of loving.
like, sky's story is very... raw. it's an exposed nerve, tender and painful and present. sky's fear is so immediately tied to his trauma which he's still in the throes of. the betrayal he faced was from the one who claimed to love him and it's telling that sky's first flashback is not triggered by his feelings FOR prapai but by prapai expressing his 'love' for him. this trauma is intimate and physical and close, but that means that the start of his healing journey can begin because of an external force (prapai) giving him that safety but also physically removing the threat. when sky begins to feel safe again, he is able to begin healing.
in contrast: tongrak's trauma is relatively... hmmm, separated (? not the best word but...) on a physical level. it doesn't make it less or even less painful (or more, or more painful), but his fear of love largely stems from how he sees the people immediately around him being hurt by love. he's internalised the idea that love doesn't last. mahasamut starts confessing his feelings pretty early on; like episode 4 mahasamut straight up goes, 'well you can't stop me from loving you' and tongrak's disapproving but he's not triggered. what's the difference between this and episode 10, i think, is that tongrak's actively fighting his own awareness of his feelings for mahasamut. it's why his fight or flight response is triggered by vie calling him out about his feelings in episode 8 and also why he tries to force parameters back into their relationship (my take: i don't care if you love me but i won't love you) in episode 10. but it's also why his healing doesn't actually come from an external force - yes, vie kind of knocks him out of his depressed stupor by hiding the bracelet, but note that tongrak's has that breakdown realisation ('please come back, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, can't you please come back to me? i'm afraid you'll end up hating me (emphasis added) if you love me') before he has that chat with vie. he's already realised that the root of his fear of mahasamut's love isn't the love itself, but the fear that if he admits his own love for mahasamut, it will eventually get betrayed. it's also why even after he resolves that he wants to try at a relationship with mahasamut, he still can't say it. at this point, his father's a non-entity in terms of the fear of him going after his loved ones - he's already been proven a weakling and a coward and also they're physically on the island so removed from jak that it shouldn't be an immediate fear anymore. no; this struggle is completely internal and it's why we linger on his heartbreaking attempts to confess (also, love sea had some pacing issues but i'm so so grateful they took time to show this part; bless fort for insisting on it!). tongrak's afraid to love but he pushes and pushes himself, and finally breaks through and its entirely on his own terms because of his own strength.
i'm not saying sky's weaker for (in a sense) needing someone else to rescue him before he could heal, but i think it just speaks to mame really telling quite a different story of healing with tongrak.
like... have you ever thought you'd healed from something and then it comes back in an unexpected way but then your response to the trigger is also different? the pain is there but it's... at once deeper but also more distant? a deep pulse rather than a high pitched shriek? and the way you go about beginning this new phase of healing is also different? i think that's whats happening here.
it's fascinating how us humans can fear vulnerability in so many ways, so many forms, on so many levels but i think the lesson mame's stories tell is that sometimes it really is worth it to become vulnerable. not with everyone, and not all the time (goodness, that would be foolish). but also, keep holding onto hope. keep looking for that right person, keep being kind to yourself and others. know that it's ok if your healing feels different, if you didn't catch it some point in the past, its not too late.
you'll be ok.
#my head is so full and i needed to get some of it out#this isn't super coherent and i'm very interested to see if anyone has thoughts on this or just disagree with this take#i'd love love love to discuss it pls reach out if you do *u*#prapaisky#mutrak#love in the air#love sea#also genuinely interested in having a discourse about mame that isn't just bashing/dismissing her/her work#i agree that her work isn't perfect and everyone has a right to preferring different things#and i'm very very new to bl (i've seen 2 shows - lita and love sea - and like 4 episodes of kinnporche)#so maybe i'm just...ignorant? but i don't get why people hate her work so much#it made me so sad to google lita and then overwhelmingly get the sense that there's something /wrong/ with me for liking it as much as i di#tongrak#sky#love sea the series meta#love in the air meta#rambles about shows i'm watching#<my posts>
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KUWAMESHI SKETCH DUMP KUWAMESHI SKETCH DUMP in which they are little shits who cannot stop messing with each other
also obv zoom in to see everything bc this shit is CRAMPED. but it's all neat i prommy
#god this took forever. guys i really love them im serious#aughhhh. augh. i had most of these down for days but i needed to like. make em not just stick figures lol#fought for my life against kuwa in the milkshake one more than probably anything else on here but i don't think you can tell so wtv#anyway theyre dumb theyre dumb and i love them.. and there is no way their bastardisms go away once they (finally) start dating#also i hate drawing furniture ok just ignore that pls <3#yyh#yu yu hakusho#kazuma kuwabara#yusuke urameshi#kuwameshi#kuwabara kazuma#urameshi yusuke#genkai#kurama#i mean eikichi and puu are there but like. eh#skrunkart#yyh fanart#also you can't really see it all that well but in the bridal carry one yusuke's got like.. a stinger in his side? that's what it's supposed#to be anyway. couldn't figure out how to make that clearer -_-#also also just be warned im gonna srb this at least like 4 times bc i spent like 5 days on it. sorry lol woe kuwameshi be upon ye#and i swear the genkai page is coming i have not forgotten
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If you want to be bothered. Maybe this for dick and Bruce???
i ALWAYS want to be bothered these are always the highlight of my day tbh you're a delight for letting me just yap <3
Dick. For the canon isn't real square I am Specifically talking about the Tom Taylor Nightwing run. Usually I ignore bad runs but given this one is ongoing (though about to end THANK GOD and get replaced by Dan Watters who i have high hopes for since i adored his Sword of Azrael (2022) run but i digress) so I counted it. Especially since it's so debated if that run is bad or not, for some reason. I'm a 90s Nightwing truther. I love Dick so dearly and tbh recently I've been more enamored with him the more I read his Discowing era, I didn't used to be as big of a Dick stan as I am these days.
Bruce. Honestly where do you even start with Bruce. I want to fist fight him and also patch him up. He got me into comics and superheroes as a whole but I roll my eyes whenever he shows up in a story. He's a bastard and usually not a good father but also complex and should be dissected under a magnifying glass. I love him dearly. He's also just the worst. I think that's why I love him. I'm always a fan of unabashedly Complicated Asshole Bruce who's generally not always the best person, particularly not to the Batfamily and that being the driving force of his relationships with them, especially in shipping.
And for bonus points, Tim. Because know above all else, I'm a Tim Drake kinnie /deg. He's been my number one for a decade and I've yet to uproot him from my brain. He's literally the Worst half the time and I love him for it. And the canon isn't real refers to Tim Drake: Robin because... that sure was a comic. And that's about all I can say about it. Pre-Flashpoint Tim I miss you so dearly. I think it's fun that I want to put him in a blender and drink the juice but also want Nothing Ever to happen to him.
#necrotic answerings#batcest#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#fandom tag#anyway the fandom is i guess mean to all of them#but like it's deserving.#everytime i meet a tim anti i'm like you're SO right. he's the worst. pls hate his ass more.#same with bruce. like never met a bruce anti who didn't have endless receipts for hating his ass.#(except for those using the shallow 'he's a billionaire beating up the mentally ill' argument which. i ignore)#(bc why are you. consuming superhero content if you just don't like or understand the genre. it's lazy pseudointellectual nonsense.)#and i don't think ppl are truly mean to dick. i think they just don't understand him.#which extends to the entire batfamily bc well. the state of the fandom and all.#like “everyone else is wrong about them” isn't in a “no one gets them but me” way#(except about tim truly no one gets him but me /j)#it's in a “oh y'all just want to fit them into neat boxes don't you” way#one more person call dick grayson “eldest daughter core” and i'm going to your house and eating the stuffing out all of your pillows.#first of all can we stop calling male characters “female coded” in any way please#women exist in comics too.#second of all it's just not true? and it's not the complex he has with bruce nor his “siblings” if you wish to call them that#and then bruce. where do you even start.#you dare say you think it's in character for bruce to hit his kids and *SOCIETY. society goes wild.*#like ofc it has to be in specific contexts. he's not just swinging.#and sometimes it *is* written very OOC bc bruce is written as a machismo self insert i give you that#but yeah a soldier who views his children as soldiers and has zero healthy emotional regulation or communication skills#is gonna sometimes swing in his worst moments. it is just how the superhero genre works everyone is gonna fist fight to solve problems.#why are you reading comics about ppl who hit other ppl for a living if you don't like it when they hit ppl.#also random hot take about dick's characterization#the young justice tv show did incredible damage to ppl's perception of him and i dislike the take it's the best adaptation of him
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#some thoughts incoming idk if i should share but i need to put them somewhere#it's hard being in the yr fandom since the finale when you don't share the same vision and opinion as the rest#and people make future wilmon posts or write post s3 fics (which many exist now) they just don't align with your idea at all#and they're not exciting to me at all and the whole concept just makes me upset#i don't wanna imagine Wille as a 'normal' person (not that that's ever possible anyway which the show loves to ignore)#like I'm sorry but i didn't come to the show to watch an ordinary love story and have them lead an ordinary life#the idea of Wille being a future king and them navigating that royal life together is so much more interesting#i hate that that isn't canon anymore and when ppl make posts about them it's not about that or that would only be seen as a negative thing#i don't wanna imagine a life where they are 'normal' that isn't appealing to me at all and it sucks seeing everyone embrace it#and it's like you're not allowed to want something else or think differently bc that makes you the bad person and you're just wrong#i can't be excited about their future (also bc i don't really see them going strong in the future with how they messed them up in s3)#(i also didn't want to know what could possibly happen in the future i wanted that to stay open and just be in the present)#and seeing everyone else excited and happy about it makes you feel horrible and very alone and disconnected in the fandom#i don't wanna take it away from them but i also would love to see other takes but that's basically impossible now#am i the only person who feels this way or are there any other who can relate? pls let me know#i already feel like ppl are gonna attack me for this but it's been hard especially now with Simon's month and seeing so many interpretation#navigating ao3 has also become difficult now#it's hard finding fics to read where wille stays crown prince and you don't have to be scared for that to change#i just can't read any canon compliant fics anymore and i hate it bc i hate to disagree with canon#i normally don't do that bc canon is important to me and i don't want to reject it and create my own fantasy#and that's what's upsetting#anyway sorry i had to write this#personal
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fandom/character disk horse below /lh
i really don't have strong feelings about thingol one way or another beyond the occasional, heartfelt dude or yeah that's fair, but i'll say that sometimes people will just dislike your favourite lil guy and sometimes they will like them "wrong" and there is nothing to be done about it. and i do entirely mean this in regard to both thingol and the feanorians. like this is the it wildly depends on your interpretation of the text fandom can't we just leave it at that. i am begging actually
#*mine#mona rambles#alternatively the block button is as always your friend like pls i don't want to have to filter that entire character tag but i am Tired#(this is light-hearted i am aware i too can simply use the unfollow/block button but man it's been. A Lot on my dash recently and it's all#just a tiny lil bit pointless. sorry).#like. just. don't put your character hate in the main tags/on people's posts make use of curating your space and let people have fun.#it could be so easy. and YET#anyway ignore me you do you etc etc
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Craziest post I saw is someone saying "I know you guys are talking about the characters, but you are also talking about the ccs being bad friends" like girl whattt
no hate btw. But literally if you ask anyone to view it as a cc pov of their interaction it's just joking around that's it.
#Also people saying if you want Pearl to join another team go to a different pov#Lots of people wanting p3arl to run do like the team???? (No hate btw)#We like the toxic dynamic and we aren't saying the real ppl are bad okay guys#God pls people need to understand the difference between cc and c#Or at least ask ppl questions while being respectful#And if it bothers you that much you can ignore it or make a post about but don't insult ppl#Sorry it's just confusing how you can hate a cc and like their c#but not the other way around
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why the fuck do i miss pigeons
#don't ask me i am going thru it today#ebhehbbehbhebhabh#i miss pigeons dude#oooh the poor little domesticed cuties#kate rambles from here#this is a small detail of the feeling i am feeling#like post leaving nyc is wrecking havoc on my psyche#i don't want to be in the fucking great plains#a few irls don't understand my want for city life- and i didn't know it was this bad until staying there for 4 days-#but my mom's whole family is from the city- i just feel so at home there- and everything i've inherited that way is in my blood#and i just wanna bawl my eyes out#i have been quite a bit but like ik i have a goal now- to move into the city- i've always had that goal to at least move to the city near m#but like nyc was like being somewhere i felt i wanted- it's not that i'm looking to make it big- i miss the noise the water and pigeons#around here you'll hear the occasional car go by- and crickets- i miss the city lights- i keep crying about it for so many reasons but#i just don't know how to actually express it?#because it's such an odd feeling for me to feel? because if yknow me well- i love being at home- i hate sleeping somewhere else-#taking a trip down south this last christmas- i couldn't stand the quiet- it's quieter the more south you go and i can't do this#i've always wanted to leave my small town but ?? like actually being somewhere that has felt home has been unattainable bc every#where in oh hasn't been home... and for once i felt like i could do this- and having to return here- just made me break down and cry#maybe it's the person i live with- that makes me wish to leave- but that's not the full truth- idk maybe a good nap will help#kate rambles#i have a life goal now but i wish i could do it now- i hope sooner rather than later i'll at least live in the city#i've been happily living but now i have a direction i wish to run towards- and i'm gonna chase after it#sure i miss seeing tbz i loved seeing them- but it's not even post concert depression- if that makes sense?#which it doesn't make sense- because for mx it was only pcd- but for nyc it's missing the city... and it feels awful#pls ignore this i just needed to be frustrated somewhere#ig knowing what i'm missing- i can finally work on filling that spot huh? i guess that's what i'll be doing#(also vv small point but the fact that one of the people i live with- refuses to ever visit nyc again- is so comforting to me)#pls don't send me an ask about this i just needed to ramble and i haven't caught up on my daily journal yet to do so- so this is here
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I know it's because I'm single and bitter. But I swear to fucking god if my roommate and his boyfriend don't stop talking about the messages they get on Grindr I might fucking explode.
#genuinely I am becoming full of violence and vile hate. hate. let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since i began to live- /ref#seriously though SHUT THE FUCK UP!! PLEASE!!!! IM FUCKING BEGGING YOU#*shaking them violently while letting out a strangled scream*#if any of you suggest I just get on there/any dating apps as well you will be tossed into the pit of ire these fucking two are in btw.#i don't feel comfortable with or trust dating apps. and the messages they fucking talk about do not help with those feelings 😐#anyway I love having my boundaries and room rules completely ignored on the daily ✌️/s#it definitely does not make me want to kms!! /s#(im not going to do anything pls dont worry friends who follow me here I'm just being Dramatic. it does kinda make me feel like that though+#+genuinely. like i wish it didnt but most sources of inconvenience or discomfort make me feel like that these days.)#(psych appointment in august though!! [@ myself ->] Get Well Soon Bitch!)#txt
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me: :) *vibing*
canon Qunari: "shanedan"
me: *battle music starts playing* "OK FIRST OF ALL EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE CINNAMON TOAST FUCK THE CLEARLY NONWHITE CODED BIG HORNED GUYS FROM A DISTANT LAND ARE THE ONLY PREDOMINANTLY WARLIKE AND BLATANTLY COLONIALIST RACE IN THE WORLD. WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY MAKING CHAINED-UP SLAVES OUT OF MAGES JUST FOR THE SHEER FACT THAT THEY CAN CAST FIREBALL. THE SAME RACE THAT IS LIKE "WE DON'T WASTE PEOPLE" OKAY BUT HAVING A GUY THAT CAN'T PARTICIPATE IN SOCIETY, CAN'T DO ANYTHING EXCEPT BE AN OCCASIONAL WAR ASSET, ISN'T A WASTE? MATTER OF FACT, STARTING STUPID WARS FOR NO REASON EXCEPT "THOSE GUYS DON'T DO THE QUN" ISN'T A WASTE???? YOU COULDN'T JUST HAVE THEM BE WEIRD AND SNOBBY AND ISOLATIONIST OR SOMETHING? THEY HAD TO BE WARMONGERS? WHY? GO AHEAD. TELL ME WHY RIGHT NOW"
#not even getting into the cartoony dimorphism bc tbh that's..... fucking everywhere. truly a lost goddamn battle#frankly ALL of MY qunari are magic-capable because of their origin (short version: dragons) and the qun functions as their personal Veil#so none of this is even a problem. if someone goes vashoth THEN it has a likelihood of becoming a problem lol#but that explains why going vashoth is highly highly discouraged to the point of scaremongering!#also they're not warlike and colonialist because... there's no reason to spread the qun. like. what for. the qun is for them.#they definitely have an out-of-control superiority complex as a race but that just makes them kinda insufferable. not violent.#anyway. (lovingly) i hate bioware 🖤#frankly i think they had to fuck up the qunari bc otherwise the communist qun life would sound too good. and that just won't do.#dragon age#ugh if i don't tag these i'll lose them and i don't want to lose them because i like them. unfortunate that this is a trending tag rn#pls ignore me unless you agree with me :) <3
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I do not feel Bonita ✨️
#vent ignore the tags pls if you dont wanna hear it#save me weed#feralbeeast ramble#it really feels like no one gives a single fuck about me#i feel so alone and useless like no one would truly notice if i were to “dissapear” in fact im sure some would be relieved that they -#- wont have to deal with me and my bullshit anymore. i know im a lot but none of you even know 5% of whats its like.. what IM like.#i mask so fucking hard because i know if i don't everyone will resent me and hate me for bringing them down. just like its always been.#anytime i try to truly be vulnerable and open up i regret it. i cant trust anyone. not even myself.#anyways rant over.. i need to distract myself with something before i make more bad choices#personal vent#bpd#cptsd#su1c1dal#self h@te#dismorphia#alone with my thoughts#tism is tisming#mentally ill#mental breakdance#personality disorder
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fans will use the lamest excuse to defend wonyoung
#not hating on her but like . yall need to stop and hold her accountablr for her actions#btw this is not ab her being cringe or pick me idk ab that y'all can decide#this is ab her not bowing to anyone not even seniors#she either ignores or turns her head down like by 10 degrees idk#which is disrespectful bc bowing is like . ur showing respect to seniors / elders / or whoever idk#i saw a vid saying she doesn't bow bc she has to learn her script like pls be fr#i believe they get scripts beforehand#and bowing isn't gna ruin her makeup / hair and even if it does it's not smn that takes too long to fix#and not just mubank. she doesn't even bow on award shows#also ive noticed how she speeds up to the centre postion during air port shoots#maybe that isnt so serious but idt the postions for shoot are specified#but she needs to let other members get the spotlight#idk if she's insecure or what but she's one of the most popular idols she's gna get attention even when she's not a centre#idc if y'all find this offensive tbh but it's stupid if u defend her on thus#this***#you know she is wrong and u call ppl who point this out jealous yada yada#but my friend we're just right & and u dont wanna accept that ur fav is at fault#there's a diff btwn straight up hating and pointing out the mistakes#yall be acting like someone's putting u in jail of u don't defend with ur life :/#constructive criticism doesn't make someone look bad !! let that sink in !!#u don't tell ur mom that she's jealous when she points out smn that you're doing wrong#it's literally the same logic#let alone mom u don't even tell this to anyone irl#which just means yall take too much advantage of being behind a screen and saying whatever the fuck u want to#yeah long story short: learn to hold your favs accountable#it won't make u look bad and certainly won't affect them either unless you're going off w death threats#which is sick btw if u condone sending death threats#ramyeon with spam !
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rin and his feeling about "rin's similarity to sae" is so interesting but confusing
#like this guy states that he hates how his face is similar to his bro#i don't think he is lying about this part#but before the snowy night does he think like that too?#in his spin off novel it was very clear rin get compared to sae a lot and that he is in shadows a lot too#sae even said it in the main manga during their match off (tho im not sure if he really MEANS it)#(like he could be but i feel like there is something more there)#but back to rin. you can't just ignore how much he idolizes sae#you don't just walk out from that. even when he thinks sae was about to acknowledge him his eyes SHINE#doe eyed rin made a come back there so#do you really think he will truly hate being similar to his brother? someone he admires and hold dear for years#the anger is there yes. but the love is clearly still there too#itoshi brothers pls end happily im way too infested already#babblings#i know i said isagi posting but let me have this just for a minute#because like hc but rin might have a mixed feeling if someone said#“oh your face is not too similar to sae actually” like#at first i think he will preens. but yeah mixed feeling i think will describe it better#probably in a further chara development he will takes it casually. but now? yeah no way that's a complex there#when will i walk out bllk hell idk man i would like to know to actually
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WHY CANT RANDOM PPL STOP REMINDING ME THAT ITS FATHERS DAY LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!
#literally woke up this morning checked my calendar and was like imma ignore that . to survive#and like it feels like every 3rd person I encounter has the NEEED TO ANNOUNCE IT TO ME#and in trying not to be rude but the third time I'm just like ok. bye#Father's Day tw#Father's Day#idk I wouldn't have trigger tagged this before but after today I'm gonna lol#I still don't totally know how to tag shit best on tumblr of any of you father hating peoppe have input pls let me know lol#now I'm going to my room to do drugs and be in denial of my life
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delete laterrrrr u can ignore
#luna.personal#dl#i just need to vent and get this out#TTTT#im feeling some type of way i think its bc im pmsing TT#so everything feels like 10000000x more#i hate pmsing so much legit like girl. why you feel like this. get a grip.#i just sometimes#(often)#really wish that some people were less obvious about#....disliking?#...not caring for????#just??? all around not liking ig#idk i know its not important in the long run#and there are so very many people who do care for me and care about me#so it shouldnt matter#but im the kind of person who wants everyone to like me TTT#i just wish like if ur gonna ignore me or if u don't like me then pls just unfollow me instead TTT
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my toxic trait is that I've started blocking people who call Nibbly she
I get that the LiB don't have canonical genders and could go by multiple sets of pronouns, but I finally get a femme presenting character who canonically uses he/him pronouns and people immediately start calling him a she because he looks like a girl
#I don't like discourse btw#in fact I hate it.... so if you don't agree with this post pls just block me back or ignore me I don't wanna argue with people 😭 😭
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